Thread: I can't let go.
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Old 09-14-2010, 01:46 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
TakingCharge999
A jug fills drop by drop
 
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Join Date: Nov 2008
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Mourning an alkie was really hard on me and I cried for months. It is still so very fresh for you phineas, I was a real mess the first weeks. One breathe at a time. I was too depressed to even seek AA/Alanon/therapy/ reach out somehow but I posted and posted here. "The Grief club" by Melody Beatty was a great read for me at the time.

Its been 2 years since then and sometimes Iremember what an incredible person and "chemistry" I had with the Alkie Ex.

And my conclusion is that, it seemed to be so incredibly wonderful because it was not real. Many things... were not real about him, but he had to make himself appear so alluring, so his addiction could continue. A trap, a mechanism. Later this theory was proven by other hurtful stuff that I would have never imagined to come from him. That is the thing with alkies, they hurt and hurt, and keep hurting. And that is the thing with codies, to be there for more, and more and more...

That Melody Beattie book talks about how we are all living different kind of losses, and how to cope. It has exercises - I hope you can get a copy. You will move on but as anvilhead says, you have to stop any contact, and let go of the sinking ship so you can get some fresh air.
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