Summerpeach, that was my main issue, she already asked for help, and she got help. She went to rehab for 3 weeks in May/June, then 4 weeks outpatient, she got a sponsor, went to AA everyday, worked on her program, got her 30 day chip and was SO proud of it. She got a therapist, and a psychiatrist, medication for her bipolar disorder.
Then we went to spend a weekend with a friend she met at rehab, and relapsed. Had 5 days of binge drinking. I had to take her to the ER for DTs.
After that I lost hope, with all the help she got, she still relapsed. Buy I stayed. She promised me she's still serious about her recovery and went back to working on the program. That lasted about 3 weeks until she started drinking again, secretly. At that point I told her it was over between us, that I don't have any more hopes for her recovery. She kept saying that relapses are part of recovery and she is still serious about her recovery. I told her: "You knew that if you drink again I would leave you, why do you do it?" She said she doesn't know, she said it's to calm her racing thoughts when she's having a manic episode.
I still stayed in the house for another week to see if anything changes. After a week she came home drunk again (only later I discovered that we came to her new job drunk that day and was fired). The next day I left the house for good.
Even after the craziness of the break up calmed down and we talked again, she still wouldn't admit that the ONLY reason I left was her drinking. She kept saying I abandoned her.
So she got her help, she worked the program. After the 3rd relapse, I lost all hope. Was I wrong?
Now she's with her parents. She doesn't have a car anymore, doesn't have any money. She said she hasn't touched alcohol since the week after I left, and I believe her, I just think it's because she has no way of obtaining alcohol right now.
I want nothing more than to believe that she will get better one day. I read all the posts here, and it's REALLY depressing. So many lost hopes. I know some people manage to overcome alcoholism and remain sober for the rest of their lives, but it seems that they are a very small minority.
It kills me to think that such a sweet, caring person is going to get her life destroyed by that horrible disease, a disease of choice.