You know, Jag, I was never exposed to alcoholism or addiction during my formative years, either. It was all a giant jigsaw puzzle to me, too. In fact, I have become addicted to solving the puzzle. The puzzle is unsolvable. I don't mean there has been no genuine emotional bond involved. Just commenting on the puzzle challenge as a link in the chains that have bound me. I was within inches of a clean get-away a month ago. Now I'm swimming in yuckiness again. Drunk or sober, he is not the good guy I had believed him to be at heart. Not even close -- so. . . .can I shake my own addiction to the whole sordid mess and enforce sobriety on myself? No contact and substitute new interests is what I know I need to do. You will get plenty of support here in searching out what you need to do.