Originally Posted by
TeM 
like I'm the one who is driving her to drink more.
I regret to inform you that you are not that powerful.
She is an adult and chooses to self-medicate with alcohol. Alcohol is also a depressant. It will not help her emotional insecurities. She may use alcohol as a security blanket to hide the low self esteem, but she is just avoiding the problem.
Remember:
you did not cause it
you can not control it
you will not cure it
I tried bargaining with my AH about sex. I did not want to be intimate with him when he had been drinking. (yet I had desires to be intimate) We tried scheduling "dates" but he was often too irritable when sober or he would cave in because of work stress and drink. Not many "dates" were fulfilled.