I was just in the substance abuse section and there is a great post on No contact. I have printed it out and will put it up on my wall. Its his birthday in 2 weeks and I know that I shouldn't even send him a text for his birthday.
The hard part for me is that when I talk to my friends this is all so crazy to them, they have never been through problems with an addict which is why I find this place so comforting as there are people here who have been through the exact same thing and I don't feel so alone.
I am still strong on the No contact.He hasn't contacted me either as he will be very angry at me for the next week and then after about 7 days is when I start to hear from him. I am seeing my counselor tonight so will talk about what happened and how I can stay strong.
Addicts must have no conscience. He tells me that he loves me as a person but is not actively in love with me. If I spoke to someone I loved as a person the way he spoke to me the other night I would at least apologize even via text if I was ashamed, but I have not heard anything from him. Telling someone that they don't have anything to offer and that they are not interested in your life and wont get the rest of their stuff out because its easy to leave it there and then threaten to call the cops and a lawyer is not what you would expect to hear from someone who loves you as a person.
Its hard to think about what a normal relationship would be like, one without addiction, but I'm sure there are some great guys out there that will put an effort in and make you feel special, not just take everything you have and give nothing in return. Until then I have my puppies who show me every day that they love me and are always happy to see me.
Oh that reminds me, when I saw him the other night he said that he isn't excited to see me anymore which is why he feels he isn't actively in love with me. He said that he doesn't get the butterflies in the stomach. I dont know about you but after 4 years your partner is more like a limb, something that is just part of you. The butterflies are in the honeymoon period when its all so new and exciting. Does anyone agree?
The fact that he wants these butterflies to me is a sign that he is always looking for that 'craving' that he feels for the drugs and alcohol and if he doesn't have that physical response then there must be something wrong. Thoughts?