Feeling guilty
First of all, I'm not necessarily looking for sympathy, or answers; just feel like sharing these thoughts. I haven't taken any big steps toward resolving my situation, though I have been disengaging a bit. I do more things by myself, and don't argue with her about the drinking any more.
My AW is pressuring me to have sex a lot lately. We go through this phase occasionally, but she's been talking to her girlfriends, and they tell her how their husbands can't get enough.
Now she's convinced I need Viagra. I just don't have the heart to tell her that she is no longer attractive to me. Sometimes I feel a little guilty, like I'm the one who is driving her to drink more. She's always been very needy, emotionally... and maybe I just wasn't there enough for her.
She even offered to quit drinking if it would make me "want her" more. I've heard this before. The first time we had a discussion about her drinking, she gave away all of her liquor, and said it wasn't worth having me angry at her.
Of course, that didn't last... she was back on the bottle within a couple of weeks. I'm sure I could try to bargain with her... sobriety in exchange for more sex... but I have my doubts as to how long she would be able to stay sober. She still doesn't think she's an alcoholic.
Just felt like venting a little ... thanks for listening.