(((HUGS))) Tam, are you attending al-anon meetings? You really need some face-to-face support right now. You are right that what is going on with him is pretty much his own doing. I know if I was trying to help someone and they more or less spit in my face, I'd just say fine...figure it all out yourself. If he is allowing "Bonnie and Clyde" to take his money, then he can just deal with it.
There isn't anything you can do for him at this point. He has made it clear that he prefers to stay with those people and talk bad about you, so, you really have nothing at all to feel guilty about. Please, check out some al-anon meetings for support.
