Thank you all.
Summerpeach, I guess in a way I have put up with his verbal abuse in the past so when he said these things, yes it hurts as it always hurt, but in a way I learnt to expect it which is really bad. He has told me before he hates me and wishes I was dead and that I disgust him. All of these things when he was drunk, so to hear it when he is 'sober' was hard. (he was sober off alcohol but had about 3 -4 drugs in his system)
You made me realise what an unkind person he is, how if he did have any love or decency in him he wouldn't speak to me that way and would have just left me alone instead of dragging me back in.
I too have to turn off my love for him. I guess as I know I am a loving and caring person that I will always worry about him, but to disrespect me like that when 5 months ago I stood with him in the hospital room with him and watched his mother die and supported him through the funeral, shows what a selfish, narcissist, cold hearted person he is.
I am feeling stronger today and am going to go NC. Even if he contacts me in a week or so I am just going to not respond. I am close with his dad who is overseas at the moment. His dad is coming home in about 2 weeks for the exABF's birthday and I will get his help to remove the rest of his belongings.