I think, as being a codependent, the more someone shows that they DON'T love you, the more you think you love them and the more you want to prove to them that you are worthy of love. I thought I was in love, but I see it for what it really was now. That was my needing to feel accepted, approved, capable of being loved. He could tell me he loved me, and I had a feeling it wasn't true, but I took it anyways because the words were what I wanted. The actions never matched. Seems the same in your case. I hope you fight through this, and feel better ASAP! ((((HUGS)))