I hope you remember SR and do come back.
You must be exhausted with this.
SHEEEESH. You haven't had a moment's peace.
For what it's worth, I lived it, I survived it.....I went back for more umpteenth times.
There are no words for how much I wish I had left that very first time.
It did cost me my sanity, I had legal problems....just too many problems to list and frankly, I am embarassed by it all.
If I had had children in it, I might have lost custody of them...it would have been a possibility.
It took me counseling and years (YEARS!) of education to recover.
I honestly feel lucky that I got out with my life.
I live a quiet and happily peaceful life with a man whose love does not contain barbs, wrongs or excuses now.
No more "intense, desperate talks"
There's not major issues to work out because we don't have these HUGE things in our lives.
Our love is in our daily, abiding actions.
We don't tell each other how to interpret things, how we should see things, what we should do.
We don't even try to convince each other of anything.
Love does not hurt like this.
Someone told me that long ago when I was in it.
Now I know it to be true.
That man in the past was way better with wooing, flattering words. He was very seductive.
I wouldn't trade the one I have today for a million of the other one.
I can see this man's love today.
I hope you will learn to trust what you have seen with your own eyes...not through the filter of someone else's..including mine.
But I know my counselor helped me by showing and telling me things in the light of reality and I had to hear it quite a number of times.
Today, right now, I insist on peaceful, quiet evenings so that I can relax and sleep well.
A good night's sleep means alot to me and my well being.
So, I protect that.
I stayed up too late last night.
I was on here, doing laundry to move to our dream location and watching a film I wanted to see.
I don't have to worry about our future plans....they haven't been jeapordized by doubts and mistrust.
I am too tired, old and have my own stuff to be dealing with any extraneous bs.
I deserve this nice life.
It's my turn.
I hope you will take your turn too.