Katie,
I have never lived alone ever and I'm 45. It's very scary for me. Also, I live in the house he practically built. We have lived here 20 years. Everywhere I look I am reminded of him. It's very hard but without him here the stress has gone down so much. I do plan on selling to start a new life for me and my kids but that will take a while, so I just have to remove the things I can and throw them down the basement for him. I have yet to tell him to grab his crap
They all have a way of breaking us down. For me, I try and not let him see that it bothers me. When we do have contact it's by texting so I word things as what he texts does not bother me, even though I am upset by it. I know I'm not to blame and am not the bad person he makes me out to be. Our friends and family know the real him. So I keep going my reading here and telling myself he is sick and needs help and I'm just the brunt of it.