Lisa,
everything he is doing and saying is meant to control you and your reactions to this; how you will see it, how you feel, what you think about it.
Laurie was so right! He isn't working on himself, he is working on you.
Like, TJP, I know this personality type.
They can be the most charming people on earth. They will exhibit whatever "emotion" seems called for and most effective.
They can lie with the truths thrown in so well, you can never actually find the lie.
He wants you in his house. Yes, he will "make it yours", re-do things, pay for the counseling it takes to get you to come back.
When you succumb, things will change drastically...mark my words.
These are the scariest people on earth, to me.
I have recognized a couple of others like that since I learned the hard way.
The only safe thing for me to do is to not allow them a fraction of an inch in my life.
My mother-in-law said to me, "I am trying to learn, and blah, blah..parroted in a very slightly off way, what she "needed to learn and was trying".
I would have fell for it...except...once you have met this type and nearly lost your life to them, you develop goose bumps.
One does not send multiple texts and etc on a silent retreat. They meditate and pray.
Have you ever been to a monastery? I love the one just north of there in St Meinrad, IN.
I know where the one in KY is.
Brother Luke didn't tell him anything. That is not the way it works.
I knew one man who planted a voice activated recorder in his gf's home.
I know another man who could easily place a recorder on a phone, the same one could track your computer with ease.
You are looking to him to make this right for you.
And, boy is he willing.
The only thing you don't have is any personal space to feel, think, have some quiet time and make a move on your own.
I will check back later, but I am neglecting my friends in other places and have alot to do this weekend.
I wish you peace.
You are certainly getting none of that now.