The reason he was not upset about the husbands come on was because he doesn't give a hoot. THIS IS A GAME TO HIM, one he wants to win, for now, once he wins it's over. It has nothing to do with your reply.
He is on a retreat? I doubt it. He is a professional liar. That is what he does for fun, to feed his ego, to entice and keep spiders in his web.
Again, and for the last time, I recommend No Contact. What have you got to lose? If you are his moon and stars, he will understand and wait patiently.
Please listen to Laurie, Suki, Tally and others, they do know what they are talking about.
I too, am backing out of this thread, you are very consumed with this man, and, to me are not thinking with your head, you are exactly the kind of person this loser preys on.
My only concern is for your son, he deserves so much more. You hold the key to his future in the palm of your hand, I am afraid you are about to open the wrong door. But that too, is soley your decision.
Best of luck,