---really, why is he trying so hard if he doesn't mean it?
Because that is what addicts/alkies do!!!!!
Go NO CONTACT. Wait and WATCH HIS ACTIONS and see. Right now, he is not 'working on himself' he is 'WORKING ON MANIPULATING YOU' so nothing has changed.
Just because he has '10 years' does not necessarily mean that he is well. And his actions certainly show he is not well.
Here is my 'translation' of everything he has been telling you and texting you, and mind you I have over 29 continuous years of sobriety, 'working a program' all those years:
"you are naive and if I can convince you to continue then I can have my cake and eat it too."
Remember the old adage about "a leopard does not change his spots?" Well you have a prime example of someone who is 'playing' with the program and is NOT practicing the Principles of the 12 steps in his life.
Before any more harm is done to either your child or you, please, please think very seriously about going NO CONTACT.
Change his name in your contact list on your phone to "AZZHOLE" so that anytime he calls or texts you don't answer you just delete.
Or, you can continue to take his calls and messages, drive yourself totally insane and wonder 'what went wrong?'
Sweetie, you
didn't
CAUSE this.
can't
CONTROL this.
can't
CURE this.
As I said before I have been continuously sober over 29 years and in the AA program, and this fellow hasn't got a DAMN thing I would want.
J M H O
Love and hugs,