My AH's lying doesn't has to do with cheating. It has to do with doing some other drugs. I confronted him about it and he denies it. I suggested a hair follicle test and 5 minutes later he was out the door with his bag packed.
To me, it wasn't the actual drug doing at that time. It was because he is an active alcoholic and he did these drugs. He is not known for doing this particular drug. If he wasn't drinking, we wouldn't have done those drugs. He lied about it when I asked if he seen the drugs at this place (i didn't ask if he did them only if he seen them). I know they were there at this place. He responded 'who told you I was doing the drugs' I didn't ask him that but with his response I knew he did them. So that's why I asked him to do test.
I think my point is, is that how would you be able to trust him again. If my AH does get sober and goes to treatment it will take me along time to be able to trust him. About anything he says. (I'm really not good at making points as my mind is still jumbled from what I'm going through now. I hope everyone understands. I can think of it put have a hard time typing it out so please forgive me)
To me it all boils down to his alcoholism and his behaviors because of it. Even if he gets sober he will have to earn my trust in order for me to feel comfortable in our relationship. When he tells me he loves the kids, do I believe that? I really don't know.
I'm sorry if I got offtrack. I did have a good response but I think it got lost as I typed. Sorry.