hey, phlegmatic, welcome to the official belonging to this forum. we are all sympathetic, and will share our own experiences, and offer advice from time to time. it's a great way of getting support at all hours of the day and night, and a way to learn some tools, new ways of thinking and being.
the more you can let go of your husband, the better. for BOTH of you. it's hard hard hard, but necessary.
sometimes the best we can do, is just go through the motions. that is a bridge to where you will one day be: in a better place.