Hi Lisa,
I'm truly sorry you have to deal with this. It's all just a huge mess that you don't desrve nor need in your life.
I find it interesting that he said his sponsor said you should both be living together to work through this, and that it will be ok if he gets back to working his steps. Do we really know his sponsor said this? I find that highly suspect as well and also feel he's trying to use his sponsor as a shield to hide behind. Having a sponsor does not allow one to abuse those we love, only to start doing the steps again once we've been caught. If we do the steps and try to live them everyday, we don't need our sponsors to cover our backs.
I am an alcoholic guy and would not try to use my sponsor or anyone to protect me from facing the consequences for lying and cheating on a woman who never said no to me and gave all the love she could give. It's that old thing of wanting his cake and eating it too, and that just doesn't work.