Sorry to hear you're going through this. I know it is though. But as others have said I think it is great you're decided to join SR and I hope this place will be as much help to you as it was to me.
After agony that was living with my RAH (recoverying AH) while he was activly drinking I realized I have a choice: in all the things in my life, including staying with him, worrying about him and the rest. But making that choice required few things: accepting the reality for what it really was, and understanding the difference between the things I can't control and the ones I can. To tell you the truth I've heard this for zillion times before it sunk in. I think ther reason why it didn't sink before was that before I wasn't ready, I dind't want to make the choice, I wanted things to be the way I wanted them. But they weren't and the agony was just prolonged until came the point my RAH started dieing. It kind of happened that his rock bottom was mine too. It made me realize so many things: how wrong I was in my life choices, how unfair my life choices were on my kids, how my weakness to act affected both mine and my kids lives. I guess there was no room left for me to hide any more and slip into occasional denial, I was faced with devastating reality, and I took it for what it was and started taking responisbility for my own life and well being of my kids.
I left my RAH, knowing that he is close to death, as he was refusing to go to the hospital, but I simply couldn't stand any more minute of that life and the way it was affecting our kids. I had to make a choice: him and us, or only him. I chose life without madness and agony for kids and me.
Since than he admitted himself to hospital, was diagnozed with end stage liver cirrhosis, given poor survival prognosis, but miracoulously recoverd quite well. I had emphaty for him while this was happening, I'd have been very sad if he has died, but I had to take step back from it all.
I think very often we forget or just don't want to know how serious disease of alcoholism is, and how bad things can get almost overnight. My RAH was kind of highly functioning until Jannuary this year (he is only 38) but in Jannuary he started losing weight, other things followed, and end of May he is in hospital with liver cirrhosis and good chance to die. Of course I knew about liver cirrhosis for years and how many alcoholics develop it or many other diseases, but for some reason I never put the dots together that this kind of thing could affect out family too. But it did.
I don't know if this helps you in any way. My point is: alcoholism is a progressive disease, it doesn't get better until an A him/herself makes it better. And sticking with an active A doesn't help anyone. An A always has a choice, and so do we.
Since I've made mine, my life has improved so much. My RAH is living back with me and kids, but only as long as he is in recovery, if he starts drinking again the deal is off (and his life most likely too).
You're the only one that knows what is the right thing for you, but I hope you'll choose life in peace, out of madness and worry for someone who is still unable/unwilling to take care of himself. As you, your AH has a path that he needs to walk, you standing in the front row in misery is not going to help any of you. JMHO, and I'm saying this only because you asked for advice. You can still continue to wish him well and have some worries about him, but I suggest you do that from a peaceful place, not emashed in madness of active alcoholism.
This is JMHO, you take what you like and leave the rest.
Take care.