Hi Phlegmatic and welcome,
Yes it sucks! Big time!
Al-anon does take some getting used to! I found it pretty uncomfortable to begin with too and the God stuff isnt my thing either. I was told to try at least 5 meetings before deciding if it was for me. I also tried two different meetings and prefered one over the other.
Al-anon is quite different to Sober Recovery(SR) too, as advice is not really offered at Al-anon. The idea is that you listen to others read from al-anon literature and 'share' tell their life stories and you 'pick' out the relevant bits to you. Sometimes you hear quite a bit of helpful sayings or good things other people have tried and done and other times not so much. That is where the 'take what you like and leave the rest' slogan comes from. On Sober Recovery people are more likely to offer you advice or their personal opinion on something and of course you can start a thread on a particular subject matter and gets lots of opinions on that subject, completly relating to you. I find a bit of both is good.
Other good things about Al-anon (my group) is every listens. When it is your turn to talk - you talk and no one interupts. This is good when you have been used to living/fighting with an alcoholic. It always has the same format too: so some structure, which again is enlightening when you are used to living in chaos.
SR and/or Al-Anon will definitely help you to take the focus of your alcoholic and start you thinking about you - keep reading and stick around, you definitely arent alone. As you are discovering it doesnt matter how much you worry yourself sick about what your alcoholic is doing or not doing, he will continue doing it anyway and all you do is carry on making yourself sick. Its time to try another way, so pleased you joined SR, hopefully you will find some useful, informative, challenging information here.