Thanks, Pelican.
I think I will have to find another Al-Anon meeting this weekend, and give it another try. Things had been bad for the past five years (we've been together 11), but only really bad since he went missing earlier this summer. I went to Al-Anon after that episode, but now that he's just doing the bender-remorse-sober for one day-another bender the next day cycle, I think that we have hit the big time and I might find a bit more help there.
I also haven't put any time into thinking about myself. My best friend keeps asking me what I want out of the relationship. I want stability and someone who doesn't go missing for days on end, making me worry about their well-being. But that's pretty low standards, huh? I love him so much and want to see him safe, healthy, and happy. I should probably think about the same for me.
Also, it's now midnight and he's still gone...I am hoping he'll come back when the bars close, but I just can't imagine he is even awake at this point, which puts a whole new set of worries out there.
And thanks as well, Live! Sorry I missed your post while I was responding to Pelican.