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Old 09-10-2010, 01:18 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
NEOMARXIST
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
A massive part of my recovery, particularly the first 6 months, was mourning booze. You have to remember that when you give up the booze completely then it ain't just the chemical that you're giving up, but a whole lifestyle and identity. Particularly being 23 and living in UK where alcohol is central to everybody lives. The people who it ain't central to aren't the people who you would naturally hang out with and those that it's central to are still drinking and drugging.

But I ain't complaining. I love being a recovering alcoholic. It's a gift that I am grateful for. I have the ability to appreciate the smallest things now that most take for granted. I am grateful to be happy and comfortable in my own skin. It's a great feeling. Everyhting that I have in my life is courtesy of my acceptance of my alcoholism. Without my acceptance of my alcoholism then I would be in the gutter with nothing but the next blackout to look forward to.

Alcohol was my best mate. I used to sit alone on a bench with a super strength in my hand and 8 cans of lager in the carrier bag and just sit for hours drinking them and wandering round thinking about life and how I'd messed it up so terribly. I truly loved booze and drugs and the lifestyle and crayness that went with and was associated with it. I had to mourne and grieve all of that stuff.

Peace
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