Before I married my AH I was a crazy girl. Partying, whatever. What I thought 20 year olds all did. I didn't have alot of self esteem so when I met my AH he took a good interest in me. We decided to marry. I didn't really take good care of myself before him. I had no bounderies for myself. I was looking for anyone that would take a second look at me. This is awful to write. Once I got married to AH I slowed down on partying and eventually stopped. He didn't. Only now have I really started to take care of myself. It took me over 40 years to take care of myself.
So Learntolive - I lived in insanity before I married my AH and during. Now I am ready to leave the insanity behind. It's going to be a big hurdle but I'm tired. I just want to be happy for once.
I always thought I would need someone so I wouldn't be lonely. Well I did have someone and still was lonely. I have to learn to be alone and love it.