Thank you dollydo,
I have realized that I was focusing on him too much while he was here. I do admit that I am focusing on him but in a different extent. I wonder if he is okay but he is a big boy. I'm trying not to text which is good. haven't done so today. Haven't done much today and it's 1:30 already. going to go take shower then start to clean and take dd out to look for a laptop. just be a mom to them. of course i'll have bad times like i did this morning but when kids are home i have to be their mom. i can't dwell on him anymore. just the other day i was feeling strong now not so strong. i'll get it back.
i hate these ups and downs.