hi 22red and
to SR. I know it feel silly to open up to an online forum, but TRUST ME, SR isn't just any other forum. There is a lot of support and love to be had here. In the days where things were falling apart for me, SR and Al-anon saved my butt.
Since baby is on the way very soon, and your AH (alcoholic husband) isn't reliable, have you considered hiring a doula to help support you through the birth? I had a doula for my daughter's birth and she was WAY more help than my XAH (ex alcoholic husband) ever was. If you need help finding one, PM me.
Alternately, have you considered going to where your family is soon after the birth? You're going to need support, especially in the days following the birth (especially with a 5 yo in the house!).
Have you considered asking your counsellor (or a social worker) to put you in touch with resources that could help you? Where I live, a nurse came by twice after my birth to check on my latch (I had trouble getting breastfeeding started), and I had my social worker call me several times, and come by to chat. She knew I was at risk for PPD and was very worried. Would similar resources be available to you?
Sadly, there's NOTHINg you can do, or say, or not do, or not say, that will make your AH realize that he's got a problem, or make him change his ways. Only he can do that. The 3 C's of addiction tell us that:
You didn't CAUSE the drinking
You can't CONTROL the drinking
You can CURE the drinking
The only thing left to do is to focus on yourself and your soon to be there baby. If your husband is constantly blotto, then you're going to have to take measures to protect your son and the baby. It sucks to say that, but you simply cannot rely on an alcoholic deep in his addiction.
I do hope you come back to SR and keep posting!