I don't know if it's possible, but try to trust your own instincts for now-- you don't need to search for the beer or pills. I spent lots of time doing that, and even when I found them, he'd lie or get angry or feel guilty, so there really wasn't much point-- it wasn't like HE didn't know... it was just driving ME crazy... so a better way to not go crazy is try to use that time/thinking to build up a support system for yourself-- and for your kids. al anon will probably be a big help- you will find people who have had similiar experiences and can help guide you through this painful and scary time. please take care of yourself! good luck to you and your family