I am embarrassed regarding thee actions of other people and take that on frequently: I can't watch game shows on TV, not just because they are rubbish, but because I am embarrassed for the participants, to the point that I have to leave the room. I'm not sure about this; it doesn't ruin my day, but it's a kind of sense of superiority that's not very attractive (I can see what a fool you're being made to look, even if you can't).
shame is different for me, I don't often feel shame regarding the actions of others. with stbx AH I was ashamed for people to know what our life was really like because I was ashamed that I put up with it. I worked hard to present him in a positive light to friends and family, because I was ashamed that I thought so little of myself that I was willing to accept this relationship as the best I could get. I knew that was my motivation for the shame at the time, I just didn't know what to do about it.