Lol.....
Him: You don't understand chronic pain! You need to educate yourself!
Him: If you would quit paying for your work insurance and the kid's insurance you could help me get insurance so I could get my back fixed and not have to take drugs. (while he lays around and does nothing to help the household)
Him: (Sitting on floor stoned at 4:00 am shining a flashlight up into the Christmas tree)
Me: WTF are you doing?!
Him: Looking for candy canes! (as he gets up and tries to put his shirt on backwards)
Him: (In our final argument after I found out he pawned my jewelry) It's all your fault, you don't help me, all my friends say "Man, why do you stay with her?"
Me: Yeah! Why do you stay? Go call your "friends"! Get out and don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya!
Wasn't funny at the time but man, I can see how crazy it was now!