Your bond with your dad is based on love, and when love is lost, it becomes associated with sadness, regret and guilt. So the realistic question is this: Can we have love-with-grief that is life-enhancing for us?
I'm hopeful that the the answer is yes.
Let's hope we can arrive at a time when love is greater than the grief.
I am going to set aside a few minutes every day (a communion)
to send love to my deceased son and ask for love in return.