Some men are direct and know what they want, others are clueless and inept at stuff like that. But your friend is neither. He is an addict. You can't give much weight about what he says or does at this point
I think this very well sums it up.
Addicts say a lot of things that can sound really good. They are expert manipulators even if they don't know it. Their words are empty, and it sucks to realize that, but it's the absolute truth.
"Actions speak louder than words."
What has he done to show you he loves you? That he wants to be with you? That he can offer you any of the things that a stable & emotionally available partner can offer you?
I had to take a long hard look at my exABF and realize that no matter how much he told me he loved me and wanted to give me the moon, he wasn't going to do that. He kept wanting me to stick around so that he could have me there when (*IF*) he "got better." Till then, he needed someone to lean on when no one else was there for him. Well. . . how does that benefit me? Sure, I liked being needed but after I started to really think about that. . . being needed isn't so great. I want a whole lot more out of life than just cleaning up someone else's messes and thinking I'm doing a good deed! I'm an awesome person and someone out there is gonna be happy to make me happy one day, just as I will him.
The fact that your guy is married is just the icing on half-baked cake. (mmm, my metaphors are so clumsy they make me giggle) But it's true. Try not to focus on him so much... As for me, I had to decide I want to love someone who is my partner. Not someone who acts like my child.