Wow! great advice everyone...thank-you... put things in perspective...seems I have this tendancy to help too much...co-dependent?? probably.....I will follow what you have all said...step back...and yes his wife has probably been threw more than I can imagine with him....i know he's a great guy but really has to get his life in order....and we as friends can only go so far...it's hard...I'm so scared he's going to end up dead....
Thanks so much everyone! xoxox