Hang in there!
Alejandra,
I too felt what I thought was a "strong chemistry" between me and my XABF. Since we have been apart for 1 month now, I can "see things" more clearly. What I thought was chemistry, was really me feeling lonely looking for someone to "rescue." He was so lonely and broken due to his alcoholism I couldn't resist.
I realized this truth when I asked myself if I met a smart, caring, sober and healthy guy would I still be hung up on XABF? Probably NOT.
The only way I have found to regain my life and sanity is to stop all contact. I changed my number and moved to a new place. Even if he gets my number, I can have him blocked... or just chose not to respond, like I would a telemarketer.
It's not easy, by any means... I struggle everyday with feeling guilt, with missing the "good times" which were very rare. Support from family, friends, Alanon, reading Melody's books and posting here have been a tremendous help.
It takes courage and strength to do this and I believe you can!