chicory

update on situation here- thanks in advance for your support. I feel helpless this morning.

told s that he needs to be out in a month. It was the first time we spoke since he came back from jail/court. he was as usual,a defensive, rude, denial expert.
he said that the court defender stood up and told the court that he is indigent, and that they cannot charge him with failure to appear (guess that is what it was) he says that he was wrongly charged in the first place, with a thimble full of pot, and being homeless. I give up trying to understand what happened. I let it go. he is so scattered , and in major denial, so i dont think he even knows for sure what happened, except that he feels he was wrongly charged in the first place. As I say- I give it up. doesnt matter now. Letting it go. I cant help it, was not my fault, even if he was wrongly charged,I did not do it. I cant fix it, either. regardless, the charges are dropped - fines too.
letting it go.

I looked up evictions. and the landlady has to pay 110$ to file, and then show in court, to get him out. i risk being sent packing too, since he was not supposed to be here, and the lease says that any time police are called here, the renter can be evicted. so, i am going to do it some other way.

I told him this am that he has a month to be out. that i will have his car donated, or towed, or junked if he does not leave.
told him that he is abusing me, by the anger, and the arguing, etc.
he says he is the abused, the misunderstood, the victim.
i will not go into the stupid arguing that I let myself be drawn into, except that he says that I am sick, and looking for things to be obsessed about. boy, pushed my buttons, but i remained reasonably calm, and told him that I will not let anyone live with me, and to treat me as he has.
told him that he is a man first , then my son.
told him i would take him to the shelter, where they have programs.
he said he is trying to find work, and i dont even know how much he is doing in that respect.
i told him that it didn;t matter, even with a job he must go.

i just get so blown away,by these things. i feel so alone, in dealing with this. he was nasty, and i told him that i will not let him frighten me, be violent, or damaging, and that i would call the cops as soon as he does any of those things.

i was crying in the other room, and he asked if i was alright!!! how can he ask that???
I said no- its not alright. his anger cools when he sees me cry, and I dont want him to see that. i want to be strong, but i feel so weak- like life blood is being sucked right out of me.