HIM: "I'm so sorry I didn't call you last night. I must've fallen asleep early after a long day of work, please don't be mad I love you so much. I wasn't doing anything wrong!"
ME: "Huh? You called me at 12am after going out with your friends and we talked for 45 minutes. You were actually being rather sweet in our conversation."
HIM: "That's cuz I'm such a great boyfriend."
SOMEONE PLEASE SHOOT ME