after smashing his car:
HIM: oh I hit the guardrail, old man crossed the line.
ME: why didnt you call the police?
HIM: oh I felt sorry for the guy he is very old
after getting parking ticket in handicap zone (he feel asleep)
HIM: the lady cop was just a bitch and making money for the town
ME: but it saids handicap and blue lines!
HIM: I didnt see it I was tired, Im going to fight this ticket you will see
after hitting the road sign out front:
HIM: I accidently hit the sign
ME: how did you do that you were parked?
HIM: oh, Im not used to the gas pedal
ME: well our tenant said you were sleeping!
HIM: she is a whacko, I had my eyes closed for one split second
about detox
ME: did you talk to your pain dr.about rehab?
HIM: yes! bad news, he saids rehabs are quacks Im going to go in for 1 day suffer in pain and be driven by ambulance to his office for meds
ME: maybe your dr.is a quack?
HIM: your a quack, my dr.is from the best medical school in the world and he said your mentally ill and need help
funny but so sad
