I know what you mean Kindeyes. I am a pretty together person in all other areas of my life. I am good at my job and have always prided myself in being able to handle any situation that comes my way. Until my AD's addiction. Then it all fell apart. I know my life was unmanageable when my AD's addiction started effecting every part of my life. OH, I could hold it all together in other people's eyes, but I knew I didn't really have it together. I had no focus, couldn't sit down and watch a movie, couldn't get thru the day without all these crazy thoughts in my head. Always expecting the next drama, what chaos lie ahead, what would happen today, tomorrow, next week. I had lost me.
Sorry, was rambling. But unmanagable to me, was having no control over me and my thoughts and actions. How I handled myself. I am working on that now, and you know it feels good to take back control of me.
Gotahavfaith