"Grass is of the earth.....it's an herb.....it's all natural. Why do you think they call it GRASS"
"I can stop anytime I want to.....I just don't want to."
"You're nuts."
"Why do you have to be so emotional." (while I'm being calm and he's wigging out)
"I'll be there at 5:00." (doesn't show up until 7:00)
"I want to spend time with my son." (Then falls asleep the whole time and spends zero time with son.)