and yet we have 2 kids together, so will it ever really be over...
Yes.. many people here have kids with a XAH or XAW and it is over for them. I have seen XABF at the job daily and it will go on like this for years more I believe, but you know what I am getting more and more hope that it CAN be
truly over for me, NO MATTER WHAT. My inner peace CAN prevail. Yours too! 
I would like you to meet a woman from therapy- dad is alcoholic, ex husband is alcoholic, now son is alcoholic..and drug addict. I don't want to be pessimistic but the kids are learning how to behave and it would be very painful to see them turn out to be just like their dad. This woman is suffering tremendously, because all she wanted was for his son NOT to be one... and as I write this he is fighting for dear life in a rehab center. I don't want that for anyone.