Oh no, I didn't steal your credit card and charge $1,200 for phone sex, you must have done it and forgotten about it!
I was out doing drugs last night (really?), and, someone stole my bike! And guess what? When I came home this morning your bike was stolen too! I wonder how the thief knew where we lived? Duh!
I am going down to the corner to buy cigarettes...he returned 3 days later...ran out of money and dope....Oh and cigarettes too...can you lend me $4.00? Yah right, I'll be doing it!