My decisions have greatly affected my kid
My son is 15 yrs. old and is becoming a handful for me. I was married to dad for 18 yrs., we are divorced now and he is in prison for a couple of years. Son is angry at me for going back as many times as I did along with a variety of other things. I see now if I had left many years ago maybe son would not have this anger and resentment towards dad or I. He doesn't even like his dad, says he's not a nice person and has no plans to see him when he gets out. He's old enough to make that decision and I stand behind him 100% if that's what he decides. I don't know how to make things better between us. We talked a bit last week-end and the talk was good but I don't know how to actually make the changes that need to be made for us to have a better relationship. I told son I didn't want our relationship to be strained as it is with his dad. I have full custody and neither of us have contact with dad. Son has seen and heard way too much growing up and remembers way more than I had hoped he would remember. he remembers dad hitting me, us riding around looking for him at bars and of course all the fighting and cussing that went on, just to name a few. I spent the whole time trying to make his life as normal as possible when our life was anything but normal!! Whatever normal is. Dad has been in and out of our life and has never been reliable or responsible so he has had no male role model. How will son be a good father or husband will he has never seen what that is or looks like? He says he doesn't ever want to get married. I explained to son why I stayed but now I see that was a bad decision for both of us. Dad is still an alcoholic and drug addict, not much has changed with him. I had hoped dad would get it together eventually but he didn't so I divorced him. I wish I had made better decisions 10 years ago about this, and son would have a brighter outlook on life than he has. I do feel like sometimes when dealing with son that my anger and resentment for dad spills over onto son and I do not want to do that. Any suggestions on how to mend this with son? I can't change the past but I do make better decisions these days and nothing is even allowed around us if it will have a negative impact on us. All I can do is make better decisions from here on out, I can't make up or change something from the past. Help you guys, this is all that has been on my mind since last week-end.