Old 09-02-2010, 07:26 AM
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Kindeyes
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
How can I let go of others’ problems......

.......instead of trying to solve them?

I thought I would pull a question from CatsPJ's list for Step One that hit a chord with me.

How can I let go of other's problems instead of trying to solve them?

Why is it that we co-dependents are so he77 bent on fixing everyone around us, when we are just as broken? It seriously just made be laugh to write that! Who the heck do I think I am! I am really working on losing the compulsion to answer a persons problem with a solution......most specifically the A in my life. Why can't I just listen? and say.....oh....that's too bad.

Or share some of my own experiences and let them come to their own conclusion on how to fix their own problems.

Alanon and SR is helping me change those patterns. People post their problems on here all the time. My instant reaction is to tell them what they need to do to fix it.....easy.....right? I need to remember that people really need to solve their own problems but sometimes they just need a sounding board and they aren't really LOOKING for someone to solve their problems. They just want someone to understand them, empathize, share their own experience, and that's it.

I need to think that same way when I interact with my AS.
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