Brooklyn Girl: Hang in there!
First, know what you can and cannot do in regard to getting him out of the apartment. First, if you are in NYC, you cannot just change the locks on the apartment. I've been through this with another friend that had to leave her apartment because her xah refused to go. If he's been living there for more than 30 days total, you have to move to evict him if he does not leave willingly. So, if you've been there for a year and he's lived there the entire time, you need to move to evict. It's more complicated if he's on the lease. I think it is different if you get a restraining order. Second, if you change the locks, if he calls the police, you have to let him back in the house. Unfair, yes, but that's how it works here.
If he refuses to go, it's just an apartment. You CAN find another one you love. It's hard, I know. My friend did not want to leave either, but a year later, she is in a much better place and without the dead weight that was her alcoholic husband. Take a deep breath and consider all your options. Don't make a rash decision. You will end up where you are supposed to be. Hugs!