Can't you see that your enabling is only hurting him, not helping him. You have a 38 year old man who has the emotional IQ of a 16 year old, your enabling has stunted his emotional growth, his ability to grow into a productive member of society.
Do you baby your other children too? Do you try to solve all their problems for them? Do you feel the need to put their well being and happiness before your own....as you do with this son? If not, why?
Actually, he lived with others until two years ago. He had a lot of enablers along the way. tho I guess i messed him up to begin with. I do see that I am hurting him, but it is like someone says, "Here, take your child and drop him from this cliff- he can fly". I feel fear to stop helping. I will do it for him in hopes that he may be ok someday.
I do not think my son is gonna be ok. I do not think he is going to live a good life. I feel that he is in a deep hole, which is part of his doing, and will not find his way out. I feel that he has some mental problems which are going to keep him from finding his way. He refuses to try meds that maybe he needs. He feels that the bipolar diagnosis was wrong, and I do too, but there is something mental.
Yes, I do try to help my girls too. I often over step my boundaries. I try to help them , especiallywhen they come to me with worries or problems.
I feel more worry for my son, for he is not a very functional person. maybe it is or is not my fault. i do want to do better. I did let him go to a homeless shelter, and cried myself to sleep each night, that he was there, and had to hold his posessions to his chest in order to have them not stolen. I am sorry , but I do have the most tender love for my children. they have been my salvation, in life. the only joys that i have ever known. I know that i have failed terribly with my son. it is causing me great pain to know this.