Hi Shanon,
Welcome to SR. You'll find so much help and support here as you walk this journey as other have and are in the midst of doing.
TakingCharge999 said it best, I can't add much to that except to say that I have just recently broken it off with my EXABF - gone totaly no contact-blocked emails, phone, MSN, FaceBook and while it as hard to do at first, my sanity was worth it.
My ex would call and call and call and call and the conversations were always the same-he just could not accept that I would actually leave him. He belittled me, berated me, criticized me, said some pretty nasty things to me and the hurt runs deeply for those things but with the help of Al-Anon and SR, I am taking the steps to move on.
I was that punching bag, the dog to kick and whenever I have an inkling of picking up that phone to call him, I think of the above and ask myself - is it worth going through it all again? Is he worth it? Most of all - Am I worth it?
No it's not easy and you still do question yourself, second guess yourself, blame yourself, but what I found was that in taking an honest look at myself, becoming educated on addiction - the patterns, the behaviours, but most of all-the 3 C's - You didn't cause it, you can't control it, you can't cure it is a good beginning to letting go and moving on.