phineas, at meeting #2 for you, you don't have to be too concerned about how it's all going to play out, what the steps mean, etc. It's enough if you hear encouraging stories and that you feel better as a result of going, be it that you learned something new, heard a story worse than yours to make you grateful, or that you were able to vent safely and without judgement. I too am not at all religious, but I found kinship with those with similar struggles and tools to help me cope. I didn't even start any of the steps until a year in. I think that attending meetings slowly has an effect and your perspective may start to shift in different ways. Don't take on too much too soon or read too much into it, it's not necessary.
My AH had suggestions from his AA group (he is a scientist and also didn't buy the religious concept) and they said the group could be used or our daughter (she is more than the sum of our parts so definitely something beautiful at work here).
I consider this a spiritual program. I think that the things I've learned along the way have helped me see what spirituality can even be; I had a limited understanding of it. To be spiritual is to look inward, and find your peace within this world and all things - nature, society etc. To understand that there is a system at work here and that I'm a part of it - like every flower, tree, animal. Like the seasons. Like the tides. Everything is powered by an unnamed energy. When I surrender to this I quiet my ego (I am responsible for my action), and listen to my intuition, my inner energy that is common to life on this planet. Carl Jung's concept of collective unconscious worked well for me until I had my own definition.
Consistent with Freud, I consider our ego the 'surface' - my persona that lives and interacts with our material world. It gets caught up in wanting stuff, workplace gossip, the latest and greatest movie, and the hair appointment that I booked that was way too expensive. This voice doesn't always serve me. Quieting all that noise allows us to listen to our bodies, follow our instincts and that is the 'spiritual' side talking. This program simply encourages us to surrender to that more basic place, where the answers can bubble up if we let them.
I love this example - have you ever struggled with a problem, you look at it until you can't anymore, spinning this way and that, and then you finally walk away, frustrated and ready to beat your head on the wall? And then while you're getting ready for bed, the answer just pops into your head? This is how I see it. You applied too much surface thinking so that you blocked your inner answers. When you finally let go of being unable to see the solution, you allowed the answer to come.