I am glad that this happened tonight. I needed some relief and so did he.
It is like divine intervention.
I am so sad that my son is not the son I know anymore. we have had a close relationship, and have had so many laughs together. i know that he does not want to be this way.
I am sad that he has never been able to be on his own.
He couch hopped for years, at friends , who were all into computer stuff, and I think that no one ever told him that it is not right to do that.
he has not once had his own place, paid for by his self.
I am so afraid that he may never have it, and it breaks my heart.
I was always afraid that his dungeons and dragons , computer addiction, and now alcohol and chemicals, were his way of escaping the world .
I let him spend way too many hours on the computer, and not any on being responsible. maybe he feels i abandoned him, to his own devices?
i think i need to stop trying to figure it out.
does "what or why" matter now?