Keep moving forward Jess.
There may be harder times coming. Once your husband gets wind of what's really going on he may get more difficult. Be aware. Be prepared - do the lawyer thing that was suggested. Now is not the time to trust. IMO
He sound a little messed in a lot areas. It's so sad when they take it out on the kids. But I think the way you can help your son is to show him that you don't have to except being treated badly, not by anyone.
It is a very tough situation, but when you come out on the other side - you're gonna know what YOU are really made of. You will be so much stronger and healthier!
Keep posting