I'm sorry for your stress luckedog.
Long term stress and worry are hard to deal with - but alcohol (and.or drugs) are at best a short term band aid, and it's a band aid that brings many other negatives into play for folks like you and me.
It's just not a sane rational or logically viable option for us..
Wherever the answer lies it lies elsewhere.
Without getting too OT for this forum...I try to remember I can only do so much...even at my best there's a lot that simply not in my control.
I just do what I can.
D