Thank you Ann, for your insight and for sharing.
I too, think that step one is going to be hard.
I am so so excited about beginning this step-study!
I have had problems with control for my entire life. As a child of alcoholics, I was at the mercy of their choices. I had no control over my own life, or over the bad things that happened, due to their drinking.
As I accept that my son is an alcoholic (he does not believe this), I am having a terrible time accepting that there is no way I can help him to stop. It just is so angering. first my parents, affecting my and my sibs lives, and we could not stop them, and now, my son is ruining his life, and hurting us, his family. It makes me so very angry, and sad, and desperate to help him before it is too late.
I see now, that I have no control over his choice to drink. I was just going to say that I could cause him to drink , by making him more angry, but that probably is not true either. He probably makes reasons to drink. Even tho he is not drinking now, due to no money for it, and if he had money , i wont let him drink here (please God).
I do know that my life has become unmanageable due to my sons drinking. I am not doing real well at managing my control issues. I am becoming aware of them, tho. I am learning a lot, but I know that this is going to be a very hard thing for me. They affect me on my job, in my relationships, in most areas of my life. I look forward to a healthier mind.
There is a freedom, tho, which comes from letting go. It feels good to know that I cant control it, and that means that I have not been failing him , in not finding a way to get him to stop his destructive behaviors.