hi jessijoy-
i totally agree with the previous advice given: make a plan. you don't have to execute it, but it is always an option available to you. why not see a lawyer privately and understand your legal options? i also think it is a good idea to make your plan totally independent of your husband doing anything. then, you will not be blocked by his inactivity or meanness...obviously, such plan would require that you (and kids) have somewhere else to live for awhile, should he refuse to leave. it seems quite common that they refuse to leave. do you have any family that would take you in for awhile? a bit of space from the madness often is useful to see clearly how mad it is.
maybe a short term plan to get some space from him for a week (a visit to an old dear friend?) and a long term plan to determine an exit strategy.
in my experience, it was best to make my plan without discussing said plan with my alcoholic, until i was ready to execute my plan to exit.
you sound at your wits end. trust yourself.
naive