silkspin

That's why.

You have to depersonalize it otherwise you will drive yourself insane. It's the booze fog that does it to them. It clouds judgement. I understand much better after reading up about alcoholism and its effects on the brain. One A at a couples meeting told me that after stopping it could take up to a year to get out of the brain fog and start thinking a bit more clearly.

Addiction changes the brain. The pleasure centres become abnormally stimulated. This is one reason why A's have a hard time doing 'normal' things - they've experienced such high highs, that normal things become mundane and boring and intolerable. Pleasure seeking becomes paramount and drowns everything else out.

There were times when AH and I went to dinner with friends - something I considered a terrific time - good food, good wine, good conversation. Everything I could ask for in a night out. During these types of outings, and of course after a few drinks, AH would be making calls, looking for a party. We at the table would be calling it a night around 11 or 12 - he was bored and revved up and wanted more booze and something fun to do. I could just never get it until I understood it from a neurochemical perspective. Sitting at dinner for him was the appetizer, and a sub-standard one at that. While I considered it wonderful, it was likely intolerable for him; he was just itching to get on with his night.